Beyond Powerful Questions: Why Leaders Need Practice, Not Just Insight

We all love a great coaching question.

The kind that cuts through noise, catches us off guard, and makes us pause.

But here’s what often gets overlooked: Insight is not the finish line. Especially when we’re talking about human connection skills — things like empathy, active listening, and psychological safety.

These are not just buzzwords or workshop slides. They are behaviors. They are muscles. And like any muscle, they only grow with practice.

You Don’t Learn Listening by Talking About Listening

Let’s be honest. Most of us have sat through leadership training that followed a familiar pattern:
Read. Reflect. Journal. Try a new behavior. Repeat.

But when it comes to connecting with other human beings — especially in the messy, emotional, high-stakes situations we encounter at work — that model falls short. Human connection is not an intellectual pursuit. It’s relational. It’s embodied. It happens in real time, with real people, and often real discomfort.

So how do we actually build these skills?

The Unlearning: Leadership Is Not a Solo Act

We need to unlearn the idea that leadership growth happens in isolation. You can’t whiteboard your way to emotional intelligence. You need interaction. Repetition. Feedback. Correction. That’s why great coaching isn’t just about powerful questions. It’s about having a practice partner.

A coach who can catch when you’ve checked out mid-conversation, even though your “listening face” is still on.

A coach who helps you slow down and tune into the tension between you and your colleague.

A coach who will literally rehearse a difficult conversation with you so you don’t avoid it again.

This kind of coaching is not always comfortable. But that’s the point.

It’s the discomfort that builds the muscle.

From Knowing to Doing: The Missing Link

We don’t transform by thinking harder. We transform by doing differently — over and over, until the new way becomes the natural way.

So here’s the challenge I offer you today:

• When was the last time you practiced a human connection skill and received feedback on it?
• Who helps you rehearse new leadership behaviors before you’re “ready”?
• Are you willing to trade polish for authenticity, even when it feels vulnerable?

If you’re working with a coach, consider this your invitation to take things deeper. Don’t just chase insights. Use your sessions to show up differently, experiment with new ways of being, and stretch into the discomfort of real practice.

Because that’s how we grow. That’s how we connect.

And that’s how we lead in a way that actually changes things.

Want support on this journey?

Explore the Leader In Demand app for tools that complement your growth, from self-assessments to micro-courses and podcast reflections. And if you’re curious about practice-based coaching,

Reach out. I’d love to explore how we can work together.

Until next time, keep leading with courage.

Katy Caroan
Empowering Leaders to Stay in Demand