When Having the Answer Gets in the Way
Hi Leaders,
One of the strange things about becoming more experienced is that you get faster at seeing solutions.
Someone brings you a problem. You’ve seen something like it before. You have an idea of what will work.
That expertise is valuable.
But in a coaching conversation, it can also get in the way.
When Expertise Gets in the Way
Most leaders are rewarded for solving problems.
We make decisions. Give direction. Keep things moving.
Over time, being useful can become closely connected to having the answer.
That is exactly why coaching can feel unnatural.
Instead of solving, you ask.
Instead of moving the conversation along, you leave space.
Instead of giving someone your answer, you let them think.
And even when your answer is right, giving it too quickly can deprive someone of the thinking they need to do for themselves.
Pause Before You Answer
One of the simplest ways to notice this habit is to pay attention when someone asks:
“What do you think I should do?”
Notice how quickly you move into solution mode.
Then try this:
“I have some thoughts, but before I share them, what are you thinking?”
That small pause changes the conversation.
You may still end up sharing your advice.
But first, you create space for the other person to think, test their own judgment, and take more ownership of the answer.
There is another trap here too: advice disguised as a question.
“Have you thought about doing this?”
“What if you tried that?”
They sound like coaching questions, but often we have already decided what we think the person should do.
Real coaching requires a little more curiosity than that.
One Habit to Unlearn
Coaching first does not mean coaching always.
Sometimes people need your expertise.
Sometimes they need a decision.
Sometimes clarity is more useful than another question.
The skill is knowing which response the moment requires.
So this week, choose one habit to notice.
Maybe you interrupt.
Maybe you solve too quickly.
Maybe silence makes you uncomfortable.
Or maybe you keep coaching when what someone really needs is clear direction.
You do not need to change everything.
Just catch yourself once.
Pause.
And try something slightly different.
What happens when you resist the urge to give the answer first?
Until next time,
Katy Caroan
